Prangs (of everyone except Foster)

 

Noel Jacobs
Tuesday 4 March 2025, Richmond
Our elite cyclist-racer was tootling along the Yarra Trail, by himself, minding his own business, when, to use his own words: "one minute upright, the next a tangled mess with my head in the side barrier" and, "the surface of the ramps are like a cheese grater".

Looks like cheese isn't the only thing they grate.

Gordon Lawrence
Friday 17 March 2023, Derby, Tasmania
Bouncing down a hill on his trusty mountain bike Gordo encountered a rock. The bike stopped but Gordo didn't - heavily impacting the Lawrence gonads on the headstem.

Did he simply get up and laugh it off? NO HE DID NOT!!!

Paul Zientek
Wednesday 21 December 2022, Albert Park
A cool and still morning. Perfect weather for hot air ballooning - there were nine in the air that day. One landed in the parklands of Albert Park Lake, and while the punters sipped their pre-breakfast champagne the balloon staff were winching the basket across the track onto the waiting trailer.

Along rode our boys Paul and Buzz, so deep in conversation about their current ailments they didn't notice the cable across the road and ........Yep!

Key words here for Paul are: ambulance - Alfred Hospital - broken shoulder & elbow - surgery.

Key words for Buzz were: camera - photos - cafe - breakfast

Gordon Lawrence
Thursday 7 May 2020, Kew
Tootling happily along the bike track, Gordo rang his bell as he came up behind two women walking. They moved over, but then one of them made a late decision to cross to the other side of the bike track.

She was a little too slow, though, and Gordo nearly split her in half hitting her from behind fair and square between the cheeks.

Gordon Lawrence
Sunday 14 July 2019, Wantirna
In the late stages of training for the ride in Colombia, Gordo knew how important it was to be safe. As he approached a tight corner, in the wet, he saw the white line in the middle of the track and said to himself "I must stay away from that white line - if I hit that it'd be slippery and I'd be on my arse for sure"

Yep, correct.
Gordon Lawrence
Wednesday 4 October 2017, Mallorca, Spain
Descending the Coll dels Reis at little-old-lady pace Gordon still managed to fall off the bike and leave a generous coating of skin on the road.
Greg Tilley
Wednesday 7 December 2016, Albert Park
That magic combination of water and white paint has claimed another victim. This time its the Club endodontist having his bike disappear from underneath him as he takes Turn 1 of the Grand Prix track at F1 pace and touches the white line in the process.

Matt Naughton
Friday 6 May 2016, Richmond
Our first 'dooring' incident. Matt riding home and passing down the inside of a line of cars waiting at the lights - taken out by a passenger opening the LEFT hand door of one of the cars.

The Prof took a dive into the gutter and fractured a couple of vertebrae - luckily he's recovering well, could have been much worse.

Andrew Kitchen
Wednesday 17 June 2015, Birrarung Marr
On his way home from the office Andrew got out of shape on the bike path and ended up in the garden leaving a good amount of human skin to nourish the plants. A classic one-man, no-interference, I'm-a-dickhead prang.

Somebody nearby commented "it's a good thing no-one saw that" - Andrew looked around furtively to check and realised that hundreds of people had been watching him make a fool of himself.

It also just happened to be his 60th birthday. There's an obvious lesson here - never go to work on your birthday.

Peter Bertelsen
Thursday 19 February 2015, Fairfield
Riding along the track, Peter was confronted by a Tiger Snake - in his horror he flicked the bike out from under him, ended up on the path with the snake making a bee-line towards Peter's unmentionables.

Another Marauder first - a bike prang caused by a snake!
Andrew Kitchen
Monday 9 February 2015, Hawthorn
Riding along minding his own business, Andrew was confronted by another rider coming towards him who went off the path and got out of shape and lost control. The guy finally recovered and got back on the path, but Andrew was unable to avoid him - T-boned him and did a perfect pike with twist over the top - scoring an 8.5 for the dive.

Ross Kilborn
Thursday 19 December 2013, Southbank
Getting out of a car park on a bike without paying is really easy. You can go around the outside of the gate, or you can get off the bike and go under it.

Of course, there are those who try to ride through behind a car .....

Graham Cunningham
Sunday 4 August 2013, St Kilda
Chatting while quietly riding along Marine Parade, Graham was taken out by an overtaking time triallist.

This was another prang involving an ambulance trip to the Alfred - and the outcome was a broken collar bone and four broken ribs.

Mike Sabey
Friday 28 June 2013, Kew
If you were riding along the Yarra bike path, by yourself, and not being influenced by joggers, dogs or other riders, why would you run into a post at the side of the track? Impossible to explain, I know, but that's what happened.

Meanwhile the peleton rode blithely on and while Sabey was going off to the Alfred in an ambulance and having his head stitched up ... the rest of us were enjoying coffee at Laurent, cheerfully unconcerned.

Mike Kermode & Gordon Lawrence
Sunday 17 June 2012, Brighton
Probably our best ever prang. A magnificent effort on Beach Road involving ambulances, hospitals, hundreds of broken bones, weeks (if not months) of recuperation - and even a non-Marauder as well. Foster, whose rear wheel was the catalyst for the mayhem, got away scot free
Peter Bertelsen
Friday 17 February 2012, Camberwell
The Flying Dane - known for doing everything at top speed - performed a magnificent face-plant right outside Laurent cafe at a lightning 4 kmh. Onlookers included Laurent Boillon himself who raced inside to get the first aid kit, but was beaten to the injured Peter... by the photographers.
Mike Kermode
Thursday 8 December 2011, Burnley
Riding along the bikepath to his city office is a trip Kermode has done so many times he doesn't even need to look where he is going .... mostly.

Buzz Borsitzky
Friday 15 July 2011, Camberwell
Riding home after Friday breakfast as fast as possible (in order to get to the office nice and early) Buzz was unable to avoid a lady driver who pulled out of a side street. Injuries to thumb, knee, skin and clothing have all paled into insignificance because ....

.... the Parlee is DEAD.

Noel Jacobs
Tuesday 12 October 2010, Southbank
Riding slowly along, Noel was taken out by the backpack of a schoolboy who, with perfect timing, turned around just as Noel approached from behind. Hours of excruciating pain waiting for ambulance .... hospital .... crush fractures of the spine .... altogether an excellent prang.
Will Crothers
Tuesday 23 December, 2008, Caulfield
Water and pedestrian crossings are a lethal combination as Will found out. Now nursing a broken collarbone he is currently reconsidering the practice of riding when its raining, and has reached the conclusion that coffee-drinking is less hazardous than bike riding on those days.
Buzz Borsitzky
Saturday 24 May 2008, Italy
Cornering too fast on a descent in the Italian alps hoping there was no car coming up the hill ... but there was. Good result - broken knee-cap, gashed forehead, written-off bike and ruined holiday.
Greg Tilley
Sunday 6 January 2008, Blairgowrie
Undoubtedly our best ever face plant - a truly magnificent effort. With photos like these, who needs the club cartoonist?
Ross Kilborn
Friday 16 November 2007, Hawthorn
Not paying suffucient attention on the Yarra bikepath, Kilborn managed an elegant swan dive over the handlebars and left plenty of skin on the path. Sabey kept on riding ....
John Tulloch
Friday 16 February 2007, Burnley
Manoeuvring from bikepath to road, chain came off, foot came out, rider hit tarmac, blood came out from holes in elbows.
Matt Woods
Friday 12 January 2007, Kew
Took the famous left-hander on the Kew Boulevard just that smidgeon too quick and left about an acre of skin on the road. The shame of it all is that not many of us got to see it happen.
Buzz Borsitzky
Saturday 6 January 2007, Rosebud
Hit a piece of road-kill (turned out the be a tow-bar off a car). Not easy to understand why you'd go over it rather than round it, but hey, not all Buzz's actions have a logical explanation.
Steve Perry
Saturday 29 October 2005, Black Rock
Hard to believe you could hit a parked car when riding along Beach Road by yourself. But, yep, its possible.
Murray Elrington
Friday 21 October 2005, Camberwell
Almost made it back to the cafe for breakfast - but not quite. Got tangled in the tram lines with the usual consequences
Gordon Lawrence
Thursday 16 June 2005, King Lake
Training in the mountains with Foster, Gordo failed to take one of the corners on the descent. Tried to grab a white post but was skidding along the road too fast to hang on - his tumble down the mountain was eventually stopped by a tree. Foster kept riding.
Ken Oakley
Friday 13 May 2005, Camberwell
Yes, it was Friday the 13th. Nearly back to Laurent, Ken encountered an imperfection in the road surface with the inevitable conclusion. Sadly, another rider close behind was unable to avoid the situation and also came off.
Buzz Borsitzky
Wednesday 25 August 2004, Albert Park
Tried to negotiate a gap in the chain fence, but took out the fence instead.
Warwick Hoban
Wednesday 3 March 2004, MiddlePark
Crossing from the road to the bike track on Beaconsfield Pde, the bike was removed from under the rider by a poorly built gutter, resulting in a broken collar-bone. (Clearly not the fault of the rider.)
Mike Kermode
Friday 19 December 2003, Melbourne CBD
Riding along Swanston Street, got caught in tram tracks and came off, losing plenty of skin in the process
Mike Kermode
Friday 28 February 2003, Richmond
Clipped by overtaking cyclist on bike track - both came off in spectacular prang
Buzz Borsitzky
Saturday 7 September 2002, Melbourne
Pulled off the bike path to avoid pedestrians, then came seriously unstuck getting back on the track

Mike Sabey
Saturday 15 June 2002, St Kilda
Got out of shape on tram tracks, with the inevitable conclusion
Bernie Handley
Friday 17 August 2001, Ricmond
Hit from behind on a bend by overtaking rider - excellent damage to bike

Ross Kilborn
Sunday 24 December 2000, Parkdale
Despite the previous day's antics, hit the kerb on Beach Road while trying to hold on to the peleton
Ross Kilborn
Saturday 23 December 2000, St Kilda
Practising maintaining balance whilst stopped at the traffic lights - more practice is still needed
Rod Lockwood
Friday 10 November 2000, Richmond
Hit a dog on the Yarra bike path - survived that OK, only to be attacked with a stick by the dog's lady owner
Ross Kilborn
Wednesday 12 July 2000, Albert Park
Ran into brightly coloured traffic barriers on Grand Prix track - later famously said he was "going for the gap"
John Tulloch
Friday 5 November 1999, Richmond
Cleaned up a dog on the bikepath - never was the kind-to-animals type
Ross Kilborn
Friday 10 September 1999, Hawthorn
He says the woman driver pulled across in front of him, but who would believe that?

Mike Kermode
Friday 3 September 1999, Abbotsford
Hit a dog on the Yarra bike path - Mike ended up on the ground and the dog ended up in the river
Rod Lockwood
Friday 13 November 1998, Burnley
Went off the edge of the bike path in the rain, on the first ride on the brand new MTB

Warwick Hoban
Saturday 24 April 1998, Brighton
Hit neighbour's dog, broken arm (dog unfortunately OK)

Chris Yeoman
Friday 3 April 1998, Hastings
Failed to take railway pedestrian crossing - never was much good at "steering"

Mike Sabey
Friday 27 March 1998, Kew
Made overuse of the brakes and went straight over the front with disastrous effects on the shoulder. Lays the blame on the manufacturers of his headlight - work that one out!